HusBen

My name is Ben and I am a husband. Life is funny and so is the internet. Lets keep it positive and happy.

The main part of my page is to express my opinions on "Lessons Learned". These are things I have learned throughout my life that pertain to family, friends, work, etc. Opinions are my own and most of them could be wrong, but then I just get to add more this list. The hope is to keep it short and succinct.

Lessons Learned #3

Needing things to be a certain way has continually prevented me from enjoying them as they are.

Perfectionist, bossy, controlling, stubborn. A lot of people get labelled these names when they want something to be a certain way. Maybe its true but my belief is a lot of people are thrust into being the person responsible for that certain thing. If that is the case and you take your role seriously then you are trying to make something turn out good or fun for others. When it doesn't go to plan, it can get disappointing. The problem is, most things don't turn out how we planned and most of the time the people around you don't even notice when something is different.

The one thing you can always control is how you respond to things when something doesn't work out as you planned it. Next time you are planning something, imagine all the funny ways it could go wrong. If your backyard furniture doesn't show up in time for your BBQ, pull out the folding chairs, no one knows it didn't come. If Todd from work didn't get a fork with his slice of cake, tell Todd to use his hands, he probably was going to either way.

Its easier said than done. It takes time and practice. But if you can let go and enjoy that thing a tiny bit more each time, it will be worth it in the long run.

Lessons Learned #2

Think carefully about how you describe someone before you introduce them to that someone.

Growing up I had so many preconceived notions about people. I would hear relatives or family friends say something about so and so. As a kid, you are a sponge and soak in all that info. You decide you are going to hate or love someone based on what adults say around you. This doesn't really change too much as you get older, except that you are no longer the invisible ear in the backseat listening.

Too many times I've been told by a co-worker or friend that "person x" said this or did this. Maybe they did. Maybe they had something else going on that day in their lives and it wasn't their best day. I wont be able to change what people tell me about others, but I can let them make decisions on their own. Every day and every opportunity is a new chance to do better. Give others a chance to do the same.

Lessons Learned #1

Always listen to your partner. Listen to the most important person in your life, you are probably wrong about something.

My wife likes to say she is cursed with always being right. Fortunately or unfortunately I believe this to be true. This doesn't stop me from disagreeing with her time and time again. One of the most important things I have taken away from this is that most of the time the people closest to you are able to see your situation from a different perspective and give a better unbiased opinion on what you should do. This is hard because you believe you know yourself best, but it's not always the case. It is ok to be wrong about what you want and take advice from someone close to you because they want whats best for you. Either way its about admitting you might not know something and I think thats a good practice for all of us. So next time someone offers you advice that is different from what you think is right, take a moment and think about it before dismissing it. Or you could do what my family usually does and take the advice 5 years from now and take credit for the idea!